Weakness & Anger

For the past few months I have been trying to quit smoking.  I have mostly been successful.  I made it all the way through step 3 of the patch without cheating once.  But, I can not get off step 3.  I have tried twice now and each time I end up getting anxious and angry.  Angry for no reason.  Every little stupid thing sets me off.  The wind could blow and I'd get pissed.  I'm not sure what is going on with me.  Why can't I function without any nicotine in my system.  Why as soon as there is no nicotine in my system do I get mad and pick fights and get depressed.  Why am I so weak?????????  Since being on hormones I have felt a calm come over me, but as soon as I don't have a patch on that calmness goes away.  Each time I go off the patch I end up arguing with my wife for no reason, hurting her feelings.  I feel like I can't control myself.  Like I'm watching this happen and hearing the words come out of my mouth without being able to stop them.  I can't calm down.  I ended up having to go get more patches last night and put one on again.  It took a few hours, but I calmed down.  Today I have another patch on and I feel normal.  Why won't my body/mind let me be nicotine free.  I want to be, I really do, but I also don't want to feel that random stupid anger.  I don't want to hurt my wife with my words.  I feel so lost.  Maybe I just need to go away from people and just go off the patch and just let the stupid anger out.  I don't know.  I don't want to always be dependent on nicotine.  I fear my quitting smoking is slowly tearing my marriage apart when I go off the patch.  I just don't get it.  Maybe in 2 more weeks I'll be ready to go off the patch again.  I hope so.  I hope in two weeks I won't let the anger get to me.  Maybe in two weeks I won't feel weak.  I want to just be able to deal with situations calmly without nicotine.  I want to be the loving spouse with nicotine.