6 Months and Counting

I can't believe it has been 6 months since starting hormones.  Time is flying.  I never thought I would ever get to this point.  When I first admitted to myself that I was transgender, I never thought I would actually transition.  I didn't think I had the strength and courage.  But here I am, 6 months on hormones and going strong.

Not much to report in changes.  Some really really minor facial changes.  Breasts are still growing (I am outgrowing A cups and moving onto B's).  I have gained some weight.  Way more than anyone would want. So it's diet and exercise time.  Now I have 60 lbs to lose to get to my goal weight.  The diet part will be a bit easier as I am going 95% vegetarian.  For some reason my body is rejecting most meats.  Like eating meat makes me physically sick.  This has happened once before about 17 years ago.  That caused me to go vegetarian for a year and I lost almost 60 lbs that time.  So here's hoping it works the same way.

My emotions have been all over the place.  It has been a roller coaster ride the past couple of years.  Two years ago it started with my wife having a fibroid tumor.  Which I have been stressing and worrying about since day one until 2 weeks ago when she had a hysterectomy to remove it.  FYI it was the size of a small watermelon.  Yikes.  But I cared all that stress for two years.  Then the added stress of last year coming out as transgender.  Then the stress and happiness of starting hormones this year.  It's been a ride.  But things are looking up and hope the next couple of years will be a little less stressful.

I am very thankful for our support system.  My friends I grew up with have developed this close circle.  We call it Famylie.  We are very close and supportive of each other.  We are very accepting of new members to the group, but burn one of the core and you will get shunned.  They have been there for my wife and I, by our sides through all we have been going through.  Always supportive.

That's all I got for now.

Hormone Levels

My first hormone level check results came in.  They are looking great according to my doctor.  I find it interesting when they tested me before they put me on hormones to transition I was on the low end for male hormones.

Who Am I? I Am Me!

A friend convinced me to start writing as a way to get thoughts out.  I needed to figure out who I really was.  I named the blogs "Who am I" not because I didn't know, but was afraid to know.  It has been about a year and a half since I started this journey.  It has been a journey of self discovery and truth.  It's been an interesting journey so far.  Many dark moments in the beginning, struggling with who I was.  I was confused, I was lost.  With the answer of who I was always with me, but hidden.  It was in plain sight, but a secret to me.  Maybe not a secret, but I was scared to admit it.  After 6 months of writing, I was finally ready to accept the truth and take the next steps.

Fast forward a year.  A year and half since the first words were written and a year since the first big steps were taken.  I have come such a long way.  I have friends and family that know, love and support me.  I have been on hormones for 6 months.  I help run social media for "GenderFest" a Transgender Social Network.  Amazing progress, at least in my mind.  If you told me 2 years ago, that this is where I would be, I would never have believed you.  But I am blessed for where I am and for how far I have come.  I have wonder friends who love me for who I am.  Ever their kids love and accept me, calling me Auntie Bryce or Bibi (Aunt in Indonesian).  One of them stopped a kid a school from making derogatory comments about the transgender community by telling them about me and feeling he needed to stand up for me.  It brings me to tears thinking about it.

I know this journey is far from over.  It will continue to have it's ups and downs.  There will still be unsure moments of what the future holds.  I pray every day that both me and my wife with have the strength to tackle whatever comes next.  But there is one thing I know.... I know who I am... I am a women.... I may not have been born with a woman's body, but I am a woman.  Some day my outer self will reflect that, no matter how long it takes.  It may take years, it may take decades, but some day.  I am taking the slow path, but at least I am on the right path.

I may change my blogs name at some point, since I know who I am now.