Self Esteem

Why can't I boost my self esteem?  Why am I always so hard on myself?  I can never believe someone when they praise me.  I have a hard time believing that I am loved.  If I send someone an email and they don't reply, I worry that I did something wrong and they no longer like me.  If I write something down in LJ and I don't see any comments I worry that I crossed a line or said something that changes the way I'm perceived and the one and only person that reads this no longer wants to talk to me.  When did this happen to me?  When did I start getting so hard on myself?  Why can't I accept instead of suspect?  I am so paranoid that I will do or say something that will cause me to loose people.  My wife thinks I have a fear of abandonment.  I just don't know.