Pardon My Stare

One of my biggest fears is being considered the creepy guy.  Not sure if anyone thinks of me that way, but I have that fear.  It stems from my desire to being a woman and people watching.  Since wanting to become a woman, I am fascinated with women and their fashions.  I can not help but to look at what women wear.  How they carry themselves.  And how they present themselves.  When I look at a woman the first thing I notice is what they are wearing.  Is it cute, is it not.  I wonder what it would feel like to wear that outfit.  I admire their shoes.  There are so many styles of shoes I wish I could wear, but they are not passable for a guy to be wearing.  For example, the shoes that a female friend was wearing on Saturday.  They were cute and looked super comfy.  I would love to wear a pair of shoes like that.  I was so tempted to ask her if I could try them on, since we wear the same size shoe.  But didn't.  I also couldn't help notice another female friend's shoes at a birthday party.  Those were amazing heels.  Very cute.  I just would have loved to try those on too.  And the dress she was wearing also looked very comfortable.

I wonder if the women I know, know how lucky they are to be women.  At least from my perspective.  I know there are ups and downs for being a woman, just like there are for guys too.  Fashion isn't the only thing I look at.  I also admire how they do their hair.  I wish my hair could look like that.  I do also look at their bodies, but not in a sexual way.  I will look at their breasts and wonder what it would feel like to have breasts.  Large or small.  What type of bra do they wear?  Do they wear one for comfort, support, style, etc?  I also look at their butts.  I admire the shape.  What does it feel like to have those curves?  I wonder what type of underwear they are wearing.  Thong, bikini, string bikini, none?  But it is all curiosity and kind of jealousy, not sexual.  I watch how they move and how they interact.

I hope I do not come across as creepy.  I just love to admire and learn from what I am seeing.  If I ever do become a woman, I want to be as passable as possible.  I watch my wife as she does stuff, but she is not that girly.  She is very much a tomboy and does not do things that most women do.  I would love to be able to watch a woman perform her daily tasks without worry that they think that I'm creepy and oogling them.  I doubt if they ever would.  I just can't help but watching, admiring, and wishing I was them.