Vacation

My wife and I had a small staycation for 6 days.  The first day we didn't do much.  I had to retake the general portion of the CT Real Estate Exam.  I was so nervous... I couldn't afford to fail again.  I passed.  Thank God.  I was so happy.  Next we dropped her car off to the repair shop to fix her window.  The rest of the day, my wife and I just relaxed and caught up on stuff on the DVR.

The second day I had a doctor's appointment in the morning then it was off to a friend's house for the weekend.  Doctor's appointment went fine.  Got home and started packing for the weekend.  Got all of our dishes done and we left for our friend's house. We got to our friend's house around 4pm.  I was a little nervous of going because I had not come out to anyone that was going to be there and was afraid of slipping.  I am unsure how anyone would have taken it.  We set up our tent then being over heated, took a jump in the pool.  This was a little hard for me.  I felt so naked only wearing men's swim trunks.  I just downed a few drinks and tried very hard not to think about it.  The rest of the evening went ok.  By 10:30pm, my wife and I were tired and headed to our tent.  Got woken up at 2:30am to a downpour.  Not ever camping in the rain before, I had no idea how the tent was going to hold up.  There were a couple of leaks, but not too bad.

The third day we woke up around 7am and got up for breakfast.  The morning started out ok, but by mid morning it started raining.  It rained almost all day.  We had a short break of rain that gave us enough time to move all of our stuff from the tent into our friend's house to keep it dry.  By the time we got everything in the house it started raining again and didn't stop until 10:30pm.  We were all huddled under their patio roof.  It was cold and damp.  After some of the comments made through out the day, I learned it was best that I had not come out to them.  I don't think it would have gone over well.  Once the rain stopped, my wife and I decided to pack up the wet tent and go home to our dry warm beds.  I was a little disappointed to leave, but it was such a crappy day that it was best.

The fourth day, we slept in and just relaxed all day trying not to get sick from being cold and damp the day before.  I unloaded the car and set up the tent in my in-laws garage to dry out.  That night my wife tried helping me practice makeup.  I'm such a bad student.  I don't know if it was because I was tired or just having major dysphoria, but it did not come out right.  I got depressed and upset at myself.  My wife thought it was because of how she was showing me how to do it.  It wasn't.  She was a good teacher.  Just a bad time I guess to practice.  When I looked in the mirror all I saw was my male face.  I immediately washed the makeup off and went for a smoke to cry.  I was discouraged that I won't be able to do this.  I want to be passable as a woman, but my face is just too male.  I can't wait to get on hormones.  After the cigarette, we went to bed.  I tried apologizing to my wife for being a bad student.

The fifth day I did all of our laundry.  Watched some of the Olympics and went to pick up my wife's car.  After paying an arm and a leg for the repairs we went home and watched more Olympics.

The sixth day we took it easy again.  Around noon we went to check on a friend's house before they got home from their vacation.  I decided to be a little daring and wore my teal tank top, new patterned shorts, and my cute gladiator sandals.  That went ok until we headed home.  Ended up needing gas and was too afraid to get out of the car to pump the gas in what I was wearing.  So my wife ended up getting out and pumping the gas.  Then we relaxed the rest of the day.

I had hoped to spend a lot of the vacation as a woman, but it just didn't work out.  I let fear get the best of me.  It would have been a perfect time to practice makeup, but nope.  I had also hoped to go to the friend's house who was on vacation and use their hot tube like they offered.  I so wanted to be able to wear my new bikini in a secluded none worrying atmosphere.  But that didn't end up happening.  Maybe some other time I can finally wear it.  I really want to.  I would love to have a girls weekend sometime where I can get my wife and my two female best friends together and have them all help me with makeup and get to hot tube as a girl.  Maybe some day.