Monday, August 13, 2012

Saturday Update

So Saturday was the day I was going to get my eyebrows waxed and go to a friends house as a girl since it is a safe place.  Well I got the courage to get my eyebrows done.  I showed up about 20 mins early to my appointment and they took me right away.  When the lady asked me what I wanted done, I was honest and told her I wanted a slightly more feminine brow.  Less bushy and shaped.  She did exactly what I wanted.  I was happy with the outcome and it was also subtle enough that I wouldn't get weird looks.

As for going to my friends house as a girl, that didn't end up happening.  It took all morning to gain the courage to get dressed and I was about to start putting on makeup.  Then the sky opened up and it was pouring out.  My wife asked me why I was putting on makeup if it's raining.  She said it would run.  Well that's all I needed to wipe away any courage I had.  It's not her fault.  But I look for any excuse to let the fear take over.  And I got it.  I did bring my clothes and makeup with me, but never put them on.  I know one of my friends was disappointed.  But I just couldn't muster up the courage again.  Maybe some other time I can do it.  Why did I let the fear win??  Why am I always looking for an excuse not to do it??  What was the worse that could have happened??  Nothing, but I gave in anyway.  Ugh.

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