Goals

Making the journey of transitioning can be very scary. There are many obstacles to over come as you begin the journey and continue on the journey. The journey is long and does not start when some would think. It does not start when you first dress as a woman. It does not start when you take your first hormone injection. It starts long before that and everyone's journey takes different paths at different speeds. The end goal isn't always the same either, but many experiences are shared despite the differences. And fear is always with you along this journey. But if goals are set, then each time one is achieved then the fear will become quieter. 

My therapist says that "Fear will use your education, beliefs, morals, spirituality, relationships, insecurities etc. etc. etc. because it wants to guard you from risk and pain - emotional and physical. Try to speak to your fear, recognize what it is saying and say "Thank you for trying to keep me safe. I recognize this risk and I believe I deserve to take it. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be my most true self. I accept me today and always.""  

Here is a current list of goals I have set and their status:

Blue = self esteem goals

Green = requires money

1. Accept myself as a Transgender Woman - Complete
2. Fully open up to my wife - Complete
3. Come out to friends - Mostly complete - I have come out to my close circle of friends and some distant friends
4. Come out to family - Partially complete - I have come out to my parents, my sister, and my in-laws
5. Start therapy - Complete
6. Go out in public as a woman - Done once a couple of weeks ago in NYC for the Pride parade
7. Learn how to apply my own makeup - I can do my foundation and powder, just need to learn how to do eye shadow, eye liner and blush
8. Be more comfortable around my house dressed as a woman - I live in a duplex next to my in-laws and still a bit shy of them seeing me dressed as a woman - work in progress
9. Get rid of five o'clock shadow - need to save up $300 to try No! No! hair remover - It may be a couple of months
10. Buy more woman's clothes - On going - currently only have a couple of shirts, a few skirts, two pairs of jeans and two pairs of shorts
11. Get more accessories - On going - need a more feminine watch, sunglasses, earrings and necklaces
12. Get more makeup supplies - On going - need brushes, better eyeliner, better mascara, etc
13. Go out more as a woman in public
14. Spend more time with friends as a woman
15. Work on my female voice
16. Start spending more time as a woman and less as a man
17. Start HRT
18. Spend most of my time as woman except at work and family gatherings

This is my list thus far.  I'm sure I'll be adding more as time goes on.  I hope as I achieve each goal I will silence the fear and get to be the woman I know I am inside.