Feeling a bit sad

As this weekend draws closer, the sadder I get.  This weekend marks the 75th anniversary of an outdoor theater I worked at.  I spent four summers there.  It was like a home away from home.  Over those four summers I grew as a person.  Learned many things about myself.  I also made many friends who I consider family.  For the past 10 years, I have tried to go back to visit.  Every year I let life get in the way.  This year was supposed to be different.  This year I was going and many of my friends were going to be there for the huge reunion celebration.  But as plans for the reunion were finalizing, life was getting in the way again.  There was no way I could afford to go down for it.  It would have cost about $1000 for hotel, gas, food, etc.  So I resigned myself to the fact that I wasn't going.  Now as the weekend draws closer, my facebook is lite up with hopes from friends to see me, and I have to tell them I won't be there.  It's hard.  I miss them so much.  Many of us are spread across the country so getting everyone together is usually not possible.  I hope when the 80th anniversary comes around, I will finally stand up and not let life get in the way.  Not sure if anyone I know will be going to that one.  I hope so.  That will be 15 years without seeing many of these friends.  Those four years will always be in my heart.