Difficulties

I struggle everyday with my desires to be a woman and my natural appearance as a man.  I truly feel that I have a woman's mind, a woman's soul, and a woman's spirit.  I'm just stuck in this man's body.  I wish I could make my outward appearance match my feminine mind/soul/spirit.  I unfortunately can only do so much before I draw attention to myself.

And being as introverted as I am, I don't like drawing attention to myself.  I feel odd always wearing pants and dress shirts.  I want to be wearing skirts and blouses.  I feel exposed if I'm not wearing a bra.  I feel hideous if my legs/arms/chest aren't shaved.  I love leaving my hair down.  I hate the smell of men's deodorants and body sprays... I want to smell pretty.  I hate men's footwear.  I want to wear heels, wedges, flats, etc.  I wish I could wear makeup.  I wish I could paint my fingernails.  I wish I could show off my painted toenails.  I would be such a girly girl.  I would dress up to the nines.  I feel so exposed when I just wear men's swim trunks.  I feel I should have my breasts covered by a bikini top.  It is so hard feeling this way.  I wish I could just be the true me.