Thoughts

So I'm sure I have mentioned this in a previous post, but I have been noticing a significant change in the way I look at people.  For example, yesterday on my way home from work I saw a very cute girl crossing the street.  She was wearing a tank top and short shorts.  The first thought that popped into my head was "So not fair, I wish I had her body."  Then last night as I was walking to class, I was behind another cute girl.  I looked at her butt and again the first thought that popped into my head was "I wish my butt looked like hers."

Am I getting less sexually attracted to women?  The more I look at women, the more I want to be them than be with them.  Here is my sequence of thoughts when I see a cute/pretty/beautiful woman:

1.  Wow, I wish I had her body
2.  Cute outfit, I wish I could wear that.
3.  Cute shoes, so jealous I can't wear those
4.  Love the hair style, I wish I could do that.
5.  Nice butt, I wish my butt looked like that
6.  Nice breasts, I wish I had breasts.

That's it.  Not once do I think that I want to be with her.  I don't think about having sex with them.  I want to be them.  I just really want to be a woman.  I hate being a man.  I get jealous of women for being women.  The softer features, the cute clothes, the cute shoes, the ability to wear makeup and paint their nails, the ability to give birth and bring life into the world.  I'm envious of how woman to woman friendships are so much closer than any man to man friendships.  I just wish I were a woman.