Afraid

Why are we afraid of our thoughts?  Why do we over think everything before we speak?  I know some people always speak with out thinking, but there are some of us that are always in our head.  We over analyze and censor ourselves.  We rethink everything.  We rerun events in our head until it becomes twisted and we get depressed or miss read. Why are we so afraid of what people are going to think?  Has society done this to us?  We should be able to speak to our friends, our family, our loved ones without worry of judgement.  If someone loves us.... truly loves us... they should love us no matter what.... unconditionally... without judgement.  But we stay silent.  Fear of judgement, fear of being abandoned, fear of loosing that love.  I wish we could change.  I wish we could speak without fear.  I wish we could just get out of our heads.  We all know that no one is perfect.  Most of us cling to each other due to our similar imperfections.  So why is it so hard?

I message with a friend/coworker at work everyday, and everyday I start typing something to tell her and delete because I'm afraid of what she will think.  She is the one I have opened up to the most.  She knows almost everything about me.  Yet there are things I still am afraid to tell her.  Why?  I want to tell her that as weird as it is I would love to have tan lines from wearing a bikini.   But I can't.  I don't know why.  If anyone can find a fix for this over thinking silence, please share.