Patience is a Virtue

Patience is a virtue, right?  When I finally admitted to myself who I was last year and came out to my friends & family, it was like a freight train speeding out of control.  Everything was moving so fast, with no time to breathe or think.  I felt like I needed to hurry and learn makeup and fashion over night.  I felt like I needed to be out full time asap.  But recently I have figured out that it doesn't have to be over night.  It is ok for things to take time.  My world isn't quite ready for me to jump in with both feet.  And I'm ok with that.  Do I wish that I could magically be a woman? Of course.  But that is not realistic.  Hormones take time to work and I know that the older one is the longer it could take.  Some people see a noticeable difference with their body and features in a few months while others could take years to start seeing differences.  Each body reacts differently and changes at it's own pace.  I am by no means taking any steps backwards, I'm just slowing the pace and giving time for the hormones to do their thing.  I see some subtle changes over the past 4 months, moments of slowed growth of facial hair, breasts definitely hurting and holding shape, a more calmed demeanor, etc.  But nothing drastic yet, people who haven't seen me in months, don't notice a difference yet.  I am just going to take my time.  Slowly build a wardrobe, slowly practice makeup techniques, and if a chance arises for me to be in more girl mode or not worry about being seen wearing a bra, I will take it.  This past weekend one of my best friends and her mother came over because her mom sells Mary Kay.  She gave me and my wife a demo of some products and we played with makeup colors.  But at the end I said it could be a year or so before I need any makeup.  I realized that I was really ok with that.  In time, the noticeable changes will come.  In time I will hopefully be more passable with little effort.  Whether it is a few months from now or a few years from now, I know it will come.  I know I'm on the correct path.  I know who I am and I am willing to wait for it.  I want to make it clear that this is my path.  This is how I am taking it.  At this moment in time this is the correct course for me.  It may not be for anyone else, but it is for me.